Living On a Prayer

Today is not really an update, other than to say we are for sure heading to DeVos Children's hospital on Monday to begin the ACTH treatment. Unless, for some reason, there is a Christmas miracle and Dominic stops having spasms over the weekend, we head in Monday morning. He will be there for 3 days so they can monitor him and see how is body responds to the meds. Mike and I will be instructed on how to administer the shots. Once he is sent home, we will have a nurse come to the house to monitor him and he'll see the pediatrician 3 times a week to keep an eye on his blood pressure. The side effect I'm dreading the most is the irritability. From what other mother's have shared with me, by "irritable", they mean non-stop crying all day, every day, even at night. I know every child is different, so I am praying it's not going to be as bad as they say. But if it is, it's going to be a very long 5-6 weeks.

I've definitely had my good days and bad days over the past several weeks. Most days my faith is unwavering and I know that God will provide. But my bad days can be really bad. I worry and am anxious about the future. About what Dominic will or won't do and the struggles he'll face. I worry I am putting him through all these procedures and treatments only to have them fail. What are these toxins doing to his tiny body? As a mother, am I making right decisions? Am I doing everything I can to give him the best possible future? I've realized this is why God gives us friends and family. To be there to support, pray and be strong for me on the days I just can't. I pray daily that God will heal my little boy, and I know that if he doesn't, he will at least give us the strength to endure what's to come. These days we seem to be living on prayer, which I suppose is what God really wants from us. To come to rely on him for everything - for each breath, each heartbeat.

It's funny how God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. I came across this verse today, which I know by heart and have read hundreds of times. But he must have known it's exactly what I needed to hear today:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" ~ Philippians 4:6-7