Bring the Rain

Little Chubster

When it rains, it pours. As I've said before, each day is different. Some days are good, some days are bad. It's a constant roller coaster. Some days things roll right off me and some days the smallest thing can send me into a crying fit. The last couple days it has been "pouring". After Mitchell had a small bout the with stomach flu last week, I thought we were in the clear. I am so nervous about Dominic getting sick, that although I'm sure my sister-in-law didn't appreciate it, I was grateful Mitchell wasn't here when he was sick last week. Surprise! Sunday, Mitchell was up all night long coughing and wheezing and it seems he managed to pick up a cold/flu. Not sure how seeing that we rarely leave the house. So between Mitchell and Dominic, there wasn't much time to sleep Sunday night. He has since passed it onto me, therefore I was up a lot last night coughing. It sucks to try to take care of two kiddos when you feel like crap and want to lay in bed all day. Mike came home today and said he felt it coming on as well. I just sit and stare at Dominic waiting for him to work up a fever or start coughing. With his immune system suppressed, if he does get sick, we have to act fast.

Monday I noticed Dominic hadn't really been moving his left arm. He sort of just holds it close to his body while he flails his other arm. His nurse and OT noticed it as well. I called his neurologist and he said he noticed it at the last appointment too. So, he wants us to come back on Monday to take a look, as well as schedule another MRI to see if anything has changed in his brain. Dominic is also having a hard time eating/sucking. That sort of started when the spasms started in November, but the past few days have been worse and feeding time is terribly frustrating. It just feels like one thing on top of the other.

Working on our vision

The "rain" continued to pour when I got a phone call from my mom yesterday saying my grandfather was not doing well. He was in the hospital and things didn't look good. He was moved to Hospice today. He's 95 years old and has lived a very full and happy life with his wife, Merle by his side. I knew this time would come, but I just didn't think it would happen within months of my other grandfather passing away and in the midst of everything with Dominic. This morning I threw up my hands at God and simply asked "why"? I feel like these things just keep piling up on my shoulders and soon enough, I won't be able to carry the load anymore. I know that this is the time I most need to rely on God, but I would be lying if I said that this brings me comfort right now. While I am thrilled and praising God that Dominic's spasms have stopped, there seems to be so many other things clouding that happiness. I have to remember that God is in control and working through all of this and that he will get us through. It's during the rainy seasons in life God draws us closer to him. I just need to continue to pray and praise him in this storm, as sometimes it feels that is the only thing I can do.